Mute
by Lifestyle
Summary: There are times when we all must be silenced. There are others when we simply need to find our voice. Raven has lost her say, but that's all about to change...chap. 13: Must Come a New Beginning :finish:
1. Tears Never Lie

**

* * *

**

MUTE  
**Author: MereImage

* * *

**

_I made a promise, _

_That I would never shed a tear, _

_If only,_

_I was strong enough _

_To cry. _

Some say this world is filled with sadness, sorrow, despair. Some waste their lives living in a fear conjured from the blank perpetuity of their minds.

I rubbed my arm in a fluid movement, starring off into the distance beyond like I had never seen it before. My position was oddly relaxed, a hint of uneasiness hanging off the swollen eyes. There was no breeze, but I shivered all the same.

"Hey Raven." I jumped as a hand touched my shoulder gently from behind. I shunned away on instinct, clutching myself with a desperate grasp. Head bent towards the ground, tendrils of hair brushed across my face, shielding my emotions once more.

"…..." As if ashamed, my body shook involuntarily holding a sob from within. Beast Boy stood his ground.

"You didn't do anything wrong." He sat down, elbows on his knees as he tossed stones into the water one by one.

"…..."

"You're truly amazing Raven." his voice had calmed down from its normal pitch, eyes sparkling. "You sacrificed a lot today."

I couldn't refrain from biting my lip.

_I could have done more_

_I could have saved her..._

I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or not, but I could have sworn I saw him flinch.

"My eyes have stayed dry this whole time." Over the quiet waves, I still dared not look him in the face. "Do you know why?"

I shook my head, fingering the edges of my white coat. It blended with the moon's reflection, shinning down upon the lake in a rough outline along the edges.

"Terra didn't deserve that type of imprisonment Rae. I knew her better than anyone else. She was a spirit born wild and free. Terra's been dieing for a while Raven," from the corner of my eye I noticed his head held high, pointed towards the heavens, "She was dieing the most painful death anyone could inflict upon her. She's at peace now…in a better place."

He stopped, a harsh choked sob discharging from his voice. It held a newly defined quiver, something I had never heard before. It drew my gaze his way and at the same moment his head looked up. Our eyes met.

"I never said it-t-t to her, but now I know. I loved her. I loved her like I never had before. She was such a beautiful soul cor-r-rupted by evil itself. I…I….I" I could see his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

"Arggggg… I HATE YOU SLADE!"

**CrAcK! **

His fist was driven in a boulder behind him, deep pants issuing from his mouth. His backbone was crumbling by the second, a small shake raking his body. I was frozen to my position starring avidly at his back. And slowly….ever so slowly… I walked towards him.

Beast Boy's ears perked up at the sound, fist still engrained in the boulder before him.

Before either of us knew what was happening, one of my arms had wrapped around his body. It was a soft gentle hug, if it could even be described as one, but the touch held a deeply rooted connection. I started to cry.

My tears soaked into his shoulder as I lay my head down, never breaking the bond. Hands intertwining, I let my body shake, rumble, and convulse against him.

"It took me this long to realize Raven, that it's about time to grow up."

I remained silent, his words to precious to break.

"It's about time…to realize our bodies don't last forever. That someday we will all die." He stopped in a minimal pause," I want to get to know you better Raven. I know there's something inside you don't want to share. I don't want you to be alone…not like Terra. Don't shield everything Rae. I don't want the events to repeat itself."

A lump gathered in my throat as I shifted positions. My sobs continued flowing freely.

"I couldn't be more proud of you Raven. Your powers are gone in sacrifice for her. I've never, never been so proud. I want to get to know the real you Raven, all emotions intact. Show me anger, happiness, sadness," he turned my way to brush the tears from my face, "wisdom, cunning, lov-"

He stopped in mid sentence, clearing his throat before continuing.

"I know it will take time Raven, but I want this to bring us together, as a team, as friends. It's what Terra would have wanted. It's what…it's what I want." He gave my arm a reassuring squeeze before starring off into the waters once more. "I know she can hear us Raven. I have a feeling…" before anything else could take place, he dropped to his knees in a desperate measure clasping his hands together.

"Watch over us Terra, please…watch over us." He continued to stay like that for a couple of minutes more, muttering soft words quietly under his breath that couldn't be heard. I sighed, face dry, placing my cloak around his form.

He was the youngest of us all, and yet he had been though so much. Just like we all had.

No one has any idea how much I wanted to hug him there, to cradle him in my arms as we watched the moon shine its protective light across the city. I wanted to huddle with my team and fall asleep, in hopes that I would remember nothing the next morning. No one knows how desperately I wanted to speak to him. In all my wonderings, I didn't even realize he was once again standing next to me. Shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart.

"I hope in time you will find you voice again Rae." He rubbed my cheek, before slowly making his way back up to the tower. I watched as he stuffed his hands in his pocket, and as Starfire and Robin pulled in on his motor cycle. I watched Cyborg greet the changeling, dragging him inside with one arm draped around his shoulder.

And then all was silent.

I was alone.

His remaining words echoed through my mind, casting a faint echo through my ears.

Perhaps hours past as I fingered the butterfly burette in my fingers, staring devotedly down at it. My throat was oddly dry, my body strangely still. I was composed, no matter how torn up I felt inside.

I was fully capable of talking.

But for some reason, I just…couldn't.

In a matter of speaking I was mute.

I was silent, and I never spoke a word.

It wasn't until I the rain drenched me in its fury

That I realized I had started crying once more.

………………………………………………………………


	2. Sleep Deprived

**MUTE **

**Author: MereImage  
****Sleep Deprived

* * *

**

I couldn't sleep.

My mind wouldn't settle, eyes wouldn't close; excuses for my lack of rest. But in truth, my body wasn't able to fall into the tranquility just yet. Neither was my mind.

A puff of steam wafted from my tea, both hands cuddling the cup to my chest. The main room was cast over in a dark spell, a peacefulness that was rarely found throughout the day. My legs were crossed, leaning against the couch, sitting on the floor. The air beyond the window held a brief thinness, one not plagued by this world. Cleansed, pure… lost.

For some reason I was chilled. I clutched my tea closer. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes; I remembered.

….

…

…

…

…

…

"_Raven?" I clutched a bundle. A soft, warm bundle. _

"_Raven…I always hoped- hoped we would become better friends." Blue eyes gazed up into mine; quivering with every breath she took, "That someday you would forgive me." _

"_Terra, you need treatment." I tried with all my might to keep my voice steady, the walls giving the illusion of a red outline along the cavern. _

"_No…I…want you to go Raven. I am already dead. I was dead the night I ran away. You have life. You have friends," she pulled me closer by the cuff of my shirt in a desperate attempt to make me understand, "friends that have always stuck by your side. Friends that treat you like a queen. Friends that care more deeply for you than even a loving family. I was always jealous of you, because of your friends, and how you never showed them you cared. Yet they always came back to support you. I was so jealous… so jealous…" _

_I brushed her hair back, trying to keep it pure. To keep the golden locks away from her bloody skin. I was trying to keep that last thing she had disinfected by life itself. Her body was beyond repair, but her mind still had a chance. _

"_I'm going to die tonight Raven. I know I am. It was written in the stars ever since the beginning. A prophecy told me I was going to be betrayed by someone I trusted dearly, so I assumed from the start it would be you... but in turn, I just realized it was me. I betrayed myself and everyone that was close to me." Her voice was growing rapidly, as if she thought she wouldn't have enough time to tell me everything. "Whatever you do Raven, don't loose your friends! If everything good in your life dies, it isn't worth living anymore." Her hand drooped lightly, a tainted gold surrounding her figure. _

_I said nothing as her eyelids slowly began to descend. _

"_No!" I didn't know what to do as her body grew limper, skin paler. So I did the one thing I could. _

"_I forgive you Terra. We all forgive you." A smile played on her face, using the last bit of energy she had left to show me she heard. _

_I placed a hand on top of her shoulder as she mouth hung open, eyes now closed. The power inside me, every tendril flowed from my fingertips into her as I gave the small girl before me the only thing I had left. It mixed in with the yellow glow as she finally passed away in my arms that dieing moment. _

_I had given her hope, strength and courage for the next journey beyond, even if it meant sacrifice for myself. I knew I would never again be able to harness my powers. I gave them to her with no doubts even now. She needed them more than I ever would. _

_As I laid her down softly, I never realized that those last few words I spoke to Terra would change my life forever. It was the night I lost my voice, and I still have yet to find it. _

…….

…..

……..

…..

"….." I took another sip from my tea.

And I stayed silent.

I slid the butterfly burette into my hair, flowing evenly with my cropped hair, feeling a connection between us.

A stir behind me. I blinked, turning steadily around.

Before me was Starfire, clad in her night outfit, starring solely towards me. We looked at each other in turn. I turned around with a fluid movement, returning back to my original position. I could hear her footsteps cautiously approach me from behind before her arms wrapped around my in an embrace.

Words weren't needed for that moment. Words are such a trivial thing.

We sat their together, a sister hood of many, as my mind grew heavy against the overall weight of my body. I blearily blinked my eyes, loosing focus on what was right before me, what was yet to come. I couldn't help but wonder who was going to arouse me from my silence. Who was going to wake me from my prolonged slumber…

And for a moment or two, I could have sworn I heard Terra whisper to me behind that clear night sky. I forgot the words as soon as they crossed my mind, but a small smile lit up my face none the less.

I had never welcomed sleep with such open arms.

And for the first night in ages, I slept soundly.


	3. Darkness of the Mind

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**Darkness of the Mind  
**MereImage

* * *

The faded power of darkness, it once had rein over my mind. The sole reason why I joined the tower in the first place, the thing that gave me evil thoughts throughout the night. I hated it. I hated it, and my hate made it grow even stronger.

My head bobbed across the table. My pale skin reflected off the morning sun shining through the towering windows facing the bay. There sat the thing that had kept me sane for so long. Robin hid behind his newspaper, scanning articles like any other up kept vigilante would do. He shuffled the papers slightly, black spikes poking up from behind. We sat like that for many minutes, going about our differences.

We were alike in many ways, different in too many ways to count.

"Something wrong?" I hadn't even realized he had set aside his paper, staring boldly in my direction. Even his eye mask held a tilted expression.

I took a sip of tea.

"Anything you want to talk about?" his leader personality had taken hold at long last. I gave a sigh rubbing my temples. I lowered my white hood, stroking my fingers through my hair.

"……"

He leaned backwards in his chair, arms folded, waiting patiently.

"Something's on your mind." I rolled my eyes and stood up from my chair. It wasn't long before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

When the figure gave no other reply, I turned around to stare at the leader face to face. There was something on his face that I couldn't place, something I hadn't spotted ever before. It looked like he was crying…only with silent tears. Invisible to the human eye. A boy suffering on the inside.

"This team has been through a lot these past three weeks." I didn't flinch. He drew a deep breath, "And I can't help but feel like we're falling apart."

I bit my lip.

"It will only be time before one of our number leaves." His grip tightened upon my shoulder. Not in an aggressive attempt, but more of an insecure gesture. One afraid that if he would let go, his world would disintegrate right before him. I had never seen my leader so vulnerable.

"I have to admit; that I thought the first to go…would be you." I took a step backwards, hugging myself. My cloak draped over my arms, shielding the inner act. Just like old times. I would be lying if I said I was not surprised by the words that left his mouth next.

"And I couldn't be any happier to be proven wrong." He gave me a small smile before stuffing his hands into his pocket, starring forlornly out the window. There was a sagging to his shoulders, something I rarely saw from the proud leader we all looked up to.

"We've all changed ever since this team originated. You and I were…" he gave a soft chuckle, "not very trusting of each other."

My eyes flickered.

"We banded together to form this team for different reasons. I was looking to forget. You came for protection from your father." He looked at me before looking back towards the glass frame.

"And sooner than I could have imagined, our forces grew. Cyborg, Beast Boy…" his voice trailed off, "…Starfire…we…we were banded together. Living under a false reality. Living a life under a different name. We were all so hurt from our past experiences that we couldn't help but cling to others like ourselves. I must admit that I have made dangerous bonds as a leader to others on this team."

He didn't have to say it. I knew exactly who he was talking about.

"So I shove everyone away in hopes of protection. If I don't have anyone to love, then I could never become hurt, and never hurt anyone in return. That is the one connection I have drawn between you and I. We hide away in hopes of saving others, but in the end they're always hurt, betrayed. I've never shown Starfire, or this team for that matter, the real me. The human boy that hides behind the hero. No one needs Tim, so I tried to lock him away."

My mouth hung on its hinges… I had never heard his real name before.

"But no matter how many times I tried to burry him beneath my skin, he's always managed to break through. Tim is very much alive… and he has saved me from myself more times than I can count. From the darkness of Robin. The obsessions, the fierce integrities, the hurtful sacrifices. Now, here I am, looking at you, and I can't help but feel like I'm starring into a mirror."

A lump gathered in my throat. My mind churned as I cleared my throat, water gathering in the corner of my eyes. My hand trailed the edge of my cloak as I paused along the seam.

"I…want this team to see me…everything."

And as Robin pealed his mask off right before my eyes,

I could have sworn my cloak grew a little bit darker.


	4. Empty Handed

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**Empty Handed  
**MereImage

* * *

In order to hold a conversation, two beings capable of speaking are usually required. I guess I'm an exception. As of late, I've accumulated more one-on-one talks with my teammates in three weeks than in my entire lifetime before. Maybe I'm getting soft…or perhaps I'm just a prime subject. A listener that never interrupts; a speaker's dream.

"This looks like the last of it." Cy dusted off his hands after handing me the last of the boxes. My cloak had turned a dull gray, one that no one seemed to notice. Of all people, Beast Boy was the first to become aware of the color change three day previous. Guess he's more observant of his surroundings than I give him credit for. Either that or his mind was wandering in the gutter at the time.

I'm just going to forget I said that….well, _thought_ it at least.

My arms wrapped around the last of the paper boxes as I teetered out of the room. Cy followed my out, shutting the door with a final click. As he walked down the opposite hallway, undoubtedly to the main room, he thought I couldn't hear him when he sighed.

I looked at the door for an ending moment before continuing my trek to my room. As the light flickered and died from above, a heart shaped jewelry box lay forgotten at the placemat of the entrance, illuminated in a silvery glow.

…………………………………………………….

I dropped the box onto my bed. I sat down next to it. My eyes narrowed.

It looked very…secretive.

My hands began prying open the tape, ignoring the 'junk' label on the side. I opened the flaps with dainty fingers, afraid I might rip part of it if I handled it any fiercer. It was just a stupid box…

A stupid…stupid….

I sighed.

At last my eyes connected with the inner contents while my hands rummaged through the objects. One by one I lifted each piece from the container and set it on top of my mattress. By the time 10 minutes passed, only one thing remained in the box. I lifted it up to eye level, pushing my hood from my head.

It was a tape, a few unreadable scribbles written on it. I rubbed its surface, glancing at the TV.

I got up and slipped it into the VCR player. The screen came to life, sound filtrating through the speakers. I watched in a daze, slowly backing up to sit cross-legged down on my bed. My eyes never left the picture.

_Snkkkk… _

I waited patiently.

"_Stupid crap, it was working two seconds ago!" Cyborg's voice boomed, holding the camera at arms length peering scorn faced into it. Starfire hung questionably at his shoulder, tapping it lightly. _

"_Are you sure you have not 'plugged it in'?" Cyborg sighed. The screen flung around wildly, an effect of his desperation to find the problem. _

"_Star, you don't _need _to plug in video cameras." _

"_Then why is the red light blinking so animatingly friend?" Cyborg did a double take. _

"_Red…red light?" he turned the contraption around, giving a blurred pan of the main room. "Ah sh-" _

The screen went black before another image popped up a few seconds later.

The level of the view seemed lower, strands of hair flying briefly across the screen. The location had changed. The sun glared into the lens, blinding the view. It wasn't long before it was lowered, picking up the scene as laughter crackled.

There we were, all of us. Even I was sitting under a large maple tree, reading my book. Everyone was there…minus one.

It made my wonder when this footage was shot. It didn't make sense. I looked at the date scrawled on the cover of the video case one more time for reassurance. Surely I had made a mistake.

But no, I hadn't. Terra should have been there, but she wasn't.

A chuckle.

I turned back to the film with baited eyes. It wasn't any chuckle, it was Terra's. I then knew who was behind the camera. I tensed as I leaned backwards on the bed. I should have been enjoying this, the past memories of the good times. But just like most of my habits, I usually didn't do normal things. Or experience them in fact.

Did the memories spark guilt? Depression? Lost hope? Or worst of all…remembrance of something good that once was, which we no longer had. I draped the blanket around myself, protection from the outer evils plaguing my thoughts.

The film continued on, just like time. It wouldn't stop, no matter how many times you tried to press pause on the remote.

"_That's mine Robin!" Terra had finally reached the party, face hidden behind the camera. _

The only thing signifying her presence was her voice. I had to have faith she was actually there. A ghost that hid behind mirrors…just like when she was alive.

_A wobbly arm reached out, swiping a hotdog from our leader's hands. His eye mask rumpled, looking plainly at his empty hands. Starfire giggled, the rest laughed. _

_A long forgotten smirk appeared on his face, as a green finger pointed in her direction. _

"_I'll challenge you for it!" He shot up dramatically, becoming her on with a wave of his hand. Terra only had time to catch the roll of my eyes with the camera as I made my appearance. _

"_Oh please Robin. Stop being immat-" _

_  
"You're on bird boy!" a muffled ruffling sound could be heard as she shoved the camera into another's hands. Who one might ask? Do I even have to say it? _

"_Typical." I set it down beside me, getting footage of passing feet. But for whatever reason, I picked it up again when nobody was looking. Attention drawn to another place. _

I leaned forward. I didn't remember that part.

_Terra and Robin had gotten into their fighting positions, fists raised. The rest of the Titans surrounded in a miniature circle ranging from Cy adorned in the chef hand, Beast Boy with his tofu burger and Starfire with a cheerful grin elevated on her face. No one realized that I was actually filming. _

_Terra mockingly held the food substance, dangling it out in front. _

_Robin shifted. _

_Terra mocked. _

_Robin cracked his knuckles. _

_Terra mocked. _

_Robin charged. _

_And Terra…stuffed the whole thing in her mouth. Robin's eye mask widened as he flew straight into her causing the pair to topple harshly to the ground with a thud. _

_Robin leaped up, arms folded as he stalked away. _

"_Terra! That was cheating!" The girl shrugged, rising from the ground herself. _

"_All's fair in war Robin." _

I sat with my jaw and mind wide out in the open. I never realized it the first time she said it. I thought it had been just a quirky little remark. In truth, I'm not sure if Terra truly knew what she was saying. But it seemed like Cyborg was thinking the exact thing I was.

Across the way on the monitor, Cyborg's eyes popped open, a quirky smile turned into a frown. I'm sure Robin might have caught it too if he hadn't been so agitated with defeat…and if Starfire hadn't showered down on him with a hug so strong it caused them to tumble feet away. They landed close together.

Sheesh. Hormones.

_All's fair in war. _

False persuasion, mockery, it certainly said a lot about her battling technique. This was even after the incident with Slade, freedom from stone. Some habits are hard to break-

I inhaled deeply.

Even mine. After I declared it in my mind, the video tape was once again filming the blades of grass, sound echoing all around. I could distantly hear the flip of the page. I was back to my mundane schedule I strictly kept to.

The power turned off with a simple click as I hit the eject button, securing the footage tightly in my grasp.

I walked directly towards the door, leaving the rest of the items on my bed. Parting with many of the things I had dragged along in my life.

Even with my powers gone, free to do as I wish, I still pushed everyone away. I still shunned myself to the darkest corners, and made conversations based on hidden sarcasm.

I think everyone was right all along; perhaps it is time for change. I wonder if Cy needs some help down in the garage.. My cloak shimmered, the dull gray washed into a brighter shade, yet it still came nowhere near the white it once held.

As I made my way out the door with the tape in my hand I paused, giving a side glance to the trash just to my right.

"….."

Ready for a new beginning,

I left empty handed.


	5. Out of Personality

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**Out of Personality  
**MereImage

* * *

I'm good at keeping secrets. 

It's the truth, it comes naturally to me. But of course, with every blessing comes a curse. My whole life is based on secrets, revolving around the lies I've set upon myself. And if you hold a secret, it's something you can't share. Something you pour into the poison of the soul that dilutes the last bit of good. So now I'm forced to wind backwards, picking away at my fabrications, reaching down for the truth. Hopefully by then, I'll have something to share. And I won't be plagued by secrets anymore.

Yes, every gift comes with a curse, but not every curse comes with a gift….

It took me seventeen years for that to dawn on me. Seventeen long years…too late.

And even as the sun touched the sky, I knew I would have to start over again. A new perspective, a new voice.

"No one will look at me." Starfire sat to my right, picking away at her shoes. Her shoulders hunched over, hugging her knees to her chest.

"….." I watched the sunrise, pealing away at a flower. Slowly, but surely.

"No one will talk to me. I do not understand… Cyborg is always working on his so called 'baby', Beast Boy cowards away in the shadows, and even Robin does not wish to be around my presence. I can feel the-the distance between us. I fear nothing will ever be the same. " She stared out into the horizon as well, as if expecting her answers would drop from the sky.

"……"

"Raven, why will you not speak to me? Why will you not speak to anyone? Are you truly incapable of speech?"

I twitched, pausing before reaching down into my pocket and pulled a white notebook swiftly from it. I began to scribble upon it in barely noticeable words.

Starfire watched with curious eyes, squinting at the scribbled word.

_No. _

She flipped the sheet over, clearly expecting an explanation on the other side. She bit her lip, fumbling with the paper. I failed to notice the small temple throbbing on her forehead.

"Are you….wishing to keep something from me?"

My hand wrote yet again.

_No. _

Whether it was my lack of explaining, or the tension bottled up inside her, she took out a side I had never seen from her before not a moment later.

"Arggggg!" Her eyes lit up in a battle cry. My eyes nearly burst from their sockets as her head turned towards mine, and for a fleeting moment I could have sworn she was going to attack.

So I dove. Not very gracefully, but I did it all the same.

But she hadn't been aiming at me. Either that or Robin's aiming practice had been a huge waste of time. The sweltering green orb zoomed past my shoulder, almost expanding as it hit the ocean's surface a fair distance from the shore.

"Starfire!" My head shot up it time to catch Robin in the doorway. His eye mask was wide, jaw hung open he stumbled towards the seething alien. He took her by the shoulders shaking her lightly as he tried to calm her.

"Starfire, what happened? What's wrong? Starfire…Starfire?…Starfire, say something!" he failed to notice me feet away.

Star gave him a cold shoulder, yanking away from the contact. Folding her arms, she turned with her back to him. It was the first time she had ever shunned away from him and he froze from the icy display. His mask wilted, the same reaction clouding his face as if she had slapped him. Betrayal…

"No Robin, you may not comfort me." The tone held no emotion that could almost be mistaken for mine.

"But…." He stretched out a gloved hand touching air.

"But what Robin!" she turned into his face, causing him to topple back with a flinch. He held up his hands in defensive manner, her frame towering over his own. "Were you expecting me to forgive you! You have avoided me for the past two weeks Tim Drake, never speaking to me. I recall you vowed you needed ample amounts of 'space' on multiple occasions yes! Well here is your space!"

She brushed past him, hands clenched at her sides. She didn't fly.

Robin nearly tripped over himself trying to catch up to her.

"Starfire, I had no idea you felt this way!" she stormed towards the door, gripping the handle as his words crossed the rooftop. "I'm sorry!"

She paused, head bowed. Her hair draped over her face, a curtain to her thoughts.

I sat where I was, unmoving.

"I've never seen you act this way Star….and it scares me." He reached his hand out, capturing it in his own. He gave it a small squeeze from behind. She turned around; stubbornly keeping her head bent low to the ground.

Standing face to face, I noticed how Robin had sprouted a good two inches above her. His remaining hand went under her chin, raising it towards his own. He stroked her cheek softly before dropping it down to her side.

It would have been very romantic to say he kissed her passionately against the backdrop of the rising sun, held in each other's arms with the soft breeze gracing their faces.

But that didn't happen.

Instead, Robin took her in his arms and held her close. At first she tried to push away, a small jerk to be freed from his entrapment. But his grip held firm, pulling her closer when she tried to shove away. I think that was exactly what she needed.

Small sobs broke from her system, leaning into his chest with a head resting on his shoulders. Her fingers dug into his shoulders for support, afraid she might drift away from this Earth if she let go.

"I….feel so alone Tim…so alone….." His mask held a thin line, relaxed, undoubtedly eyes closed underneath. He gave a soft sigh as they rocked together in each other's arms.

Ok, so maybe it was a little bit romantic.

Over time, Starfire's body grew limper, soft breaths steadily issuing from her mouth. The tear flow had stopped, a restful sleep overtaking her worn out figure. Robin simply stared down at her, eyes locked, winding a strand of hair in his fingertip. He smirked, in the only way the boy wonder knew best. He carefully lifted her up, bridal style, giving one fleeting look over the rooftop.

It was then he spotted me.

Color drained from his face as his body grew stock still, a deer in the headlights. A look plastered on his face like he had stolen a cookie before dinner.

I looked over my shoulder to find nothing. Yep, defiantly staring at me. I brushed myself off, a gray shimmer reflecting against the clouds as I walked past him. His head turned with my figure. I swung the door open, taking a step inside.

"How long, errr, how-how long were you standing there Raven?"

I gave only one answer.

I turned around and saluted to him. He became flustered all the more, and I could have sworn his hands tightened around the sleeping girl. Protective reflexes no doubt.

I rotated on my heels and left. He slowly followed after.

"……."

"…….."

"……."

"…….."

We reached the bottom of the stairs, branching off into different directions. I watched him go. He never turned around….and his pace seemed oddly hurried.

I fingered the butterfly burette in my hair, walking back towards my bedroom. My hand rested on the door, pausing.

I did a double take.

_Who the heck is Tim?_

I shrugged, blinked, and walked inside.


	6. Breathe

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**Breathe**  
MereImage

* * *

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale.

…….

…….

…….

Breathe…..

"……."

I took a step. A step outside the confinements of this overgrown shelter.

A step outside for the first time in three weeks.

I paused, looking around at the world I missed. I needed to break free from the Raven's cage…just for a day. I walked down all 13 staircases, step-by-step. I had never done it before. I felt strangely regenerated…

My face relaxed, shoulders held back, and I walked.

The crunch of gravel met my ears, tuning everything else out. My feet carried me to the water, where the brink of two worlds collided.

I looked at my reflection and pulled back my hood. My hand stroked my face, fingers gliding smoothly along my jaw. I broke the connection, pulling my gaze away from my reflection, trying to brush the tears from my eyes.

I collapsed down on the sand, hands reaching for the laces of my shoes.

I pulled off my shoes, Socks. My cloak stayed on. I wiggled my toes with a personality most unlike my own.

All that was needed to complete the moment was for the Little Mermaid to pop up and coax me into song.

I waded into the water, wincing at the icy touch. I stood and dove.

With the water surrounding me, it felt like nothing could break me, my body as light as the sky itself. I plunged my entire body into the surf, resting, floating. I almost forgot to breathe.

I rose to the surface, drawing a breath, only to realize I was 50ft from the shore.

I frowned.

And inexplicitly, I was yanked down below, only able to gasp for one last breath.

I must have passed out for a few seconds. I was so deep that I had to squint my eyes in order to see my hand directly in front of me.

More air bubbles escaped my lips as I sunk deeper, like a dead weight.

I've never panicked much in my life. It involved too many emotions. But now, as my lungs began to collapse, I was frantically swinging my arms trying to rise. To reach the boundary of life.

But something was holding me down….

I yanked my hefty cloak from my figure, feeling more mobility to rise. I never watched it sink to the depths of the darkest corners.

My lips parted, spots appearing before my vision.

I wasn't thinking about anything, only my shire determination to rise.

20 more feet…

My arms were growing limper.

15 feet…

I couldn't feel my legs.

10 feet….

My mouth clamped shut, my eyes shone, and-

Sloooooooosh!

My head and hair whipped back as I gasped for breath. My lungs heaved with deprivation, punishing me for my maltreatment.

I waded in the water, waiting for my heart to stop hammering against my chest.

When it never did, I slowly began making my way to shore.

Making my way...

…

…

….Home.

…………………………………………………………………………..

"Yo Raven! Where ya been?" Cy smirked in my direction, one hand slung over the couch, the other grasping the remote.

I continued walking, pointing at my cloths. My leotard was dripping, my hairs on end from the cold. I hugged myself.

"Swimming? It's like 2 AM in the morning!" A temple throbbed on my forehead as I pointed accusatorily in his direction.

"Oh, me?" he chuckled. "I'm always up this early. Only needed to recharge for a few hours."

He turned back towards the TV, channel surfing.

"You do realize we have a pool, don't ya Rae?" no response.

He turned.

"Raven?"

I had gone. He sighed.

"Dark and mysterious, the never changing aspects of Raven."

In the shadows, I stirred.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

I held the object in my hands with mild interest.

A diary.

I opened the front cover. Blank.

I sat in the closed off the room. The one we were all suppose to be forgetting. The view outside was gradually growing lighter shinning a few weak rays into the area.

I stroked the soft sheets.

Everything else in the room was bare. Naturally, it was Terra's.

I grabbed a brush lying beside me. Still cloakless, I grabbed an arrangement of paints.

Sure, I could write. It went along with my passion of reading. I could write, but I never wanted to. It brings me remembrance of the darker times, keeping a diary. Hiding your secrets-

I winced,

your thoughts. Shielding them from the outside world. Forging mixed meanings between the lines of an imaginary device. Laying down your soul where anything could find it. Even darkness. Writing… it just wasn't the same as…

I dipped it gracefully into the colors.

And lay a yellow stroke on the paper. I bit my tongue in concentration, focused entirely on the piece before me.

As I began to paint a picture back to life,

I breathed,

No strings attached.


	7. Online

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**Online  
**MereImage

* * *

"Look what_ I_ did for you Raven!" Beast boy huddled on my chair beaming in my direction. I fumed. I stomped over in his direction, grabbing the back of _my_ chair in _my _room ready to fling him out the window. 

He must have seen my face expression.

"No! Wait Raven! I want to show you something radical! Besides, you don't want to kill me before I show you this!" I pretended to seriously consider his answer.

I brandished my pointer finger towards the door. His eyes followed the finger.

"Yeah, your room." The smile on his face almost dropped instantaneously, "……your….room." my foot tapped on the floor.

"Heheehehhehe….bye!" a green streak blurred past me. I had to clutch my cloak as he breezed by. The mixed red illuminated off the cape.

I huffed, and sat down in my seat near the computer. I took the mouse, scrolling it towards the exit window. I never clicked.

Instead, my eyes had widened at what was before me.

Fan fiction. Fan fiction of the Titans. Fan fiction of me. I slouched in my seat.

I scrolled down far enough to read the title.

'Stuck on Raven.' I choked on air. I beadily darted eyes at the screen. Ever so slowly, I scrolled down. I was…slightly curious.

….

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"_OH NO!" Three voices rang out overdramatically, stuck in wild posses. _

_Raven careened down a soft grassy hill, tumbling to her demise. She had become powerless, helpless as she tumbled. _

I read on.

…

…

…

"_Don't worry Raven! I'll save you!" Robin leapt heroically, dashing after the fleeting bird. "We're so alike! We're meant for each other!" _

_Beast boy 'humped' indignantly. _

"_No Raven! We'd be the forbidden couple! Opposites attract! Opposites attract!" he ran after leaving only one standing on the hillside. _

"_Well we belong-," Cy stopped, rubbing his chin, "What the heck, no one's listening. I'M COMING RAVEN!" _

_He doodled down until he came upon-_

'_gasp!' _

_A sticky lagoon filled with syrup engulfed the heroes. _

_Raven, now awake and fully powerful, was stuck in the middle. _

"_Anyone care to explain?" raised eyebrows. _

"_I love you Raven!" the three boys's gazed openmouthed at the new encounter._

"_Starfire!' yes, Starfire was now too in love with Raven. The syrup caused their bodies to stick together, clung in the lagoon. Unable to escape the bundle of hormones, Raven could only sigh. _

"_Peachy."  
_

_And they were all stuck on Raven._

_The End! _

…

…

…

…

I scrolled up to the top. I read the genre of the fic.

Humor.

Funny, I wasn't laughing.

I read the author's name, tugging at my sleeve. I rolled my eyes, folding my arms across my chest in a tighter bound.

_Pfft! Who names themselves MereImage? _I gave a half hearted chuckle.

I minimized it. I pulled up a white word document, placing my fingers on the keyboard. I typed.

_B. Thanks for the…story thing. But that still doesn't mean I'm not going to kill you. _

I paused.

I returned to the story.

I scrolled to the bottom of the page, remaining silent.

With the slightest smile to my face, I added it to my favorites list just before I exited from the window.

The best thing about it...

Nobody would ever know.


	8. The Name of the Game

Couldn't help updating this thing. No worries though, A World Away has about 1,700 words at the moment. I should be able to update it by tomorrow or the next day….I hope. I'm glad I wrote this chapter though; it's my favorite one yet.

**

* * *

**

Mute

**The Name of the Game  
**MereImage

* * *

"Awwwwww, Come on Raven! Come play!" I glanced form my sitting position huddled around the kitchen table the whole team looked my way. Four head turned expectantly in my direction.

I gave a feeble, dismissive wave. Beast Boy seemed to take it personally.

"Come on, don't be a party pooper!" I raised my eyebrows behind the pages of my book, pretending to ignore him.

"Fine…." He sloughed in his seat. Cy chuckled, leaning over to whisper in his ear. I must admit I began to grow slightly nervous when one of his trademark grins lit up on his face. When that happened, trouble was sure to brew, and chaos was to follow.

I gulped. The pair looked over in my direction; Robin chuckled at something Star said. I couldn't make out their conversation.

I swear, I only blinked, but in that time span Beast Boy, Cy, Robin and Starfire had somehow situated around me in a circle, cards in hand. I took turn to glance at each of them, death emanate in my eyes. Everyone took the hint. Minus one….

Beast Boy was nearly floating with glee. He pulled a coffee table in front of us all, plopping down contentedly in a seat opposite of me.

"Since you didn't want to join the game, the game joined you!" he paused. "….wait that doesn't make sense does it?"

Robin seemed to be in a good mood. He laughed again. Everyone looked in his direction. The laughing finally subsided as he looked at everyone in turn.

"What?"

I shrugged it off. Beast boy continued his 'expert' shuffling skills, cards flying in every which direction. It seemed like the pair of them went all out, that is, Cy and Beast Boy, ranging from the poker gear to the attitudes they portrayed. They looked ridiculous….and immature.

"So, Raven. Ladies choice. What's the name of the game?" I conceded, giving a worn sigh. I held up both my hands. Two fingers on one side, one on the other. Robin spoke first.

"Twenty one? Blackjack? Never knew you even knew how to play." Star quickly gave her commentary.

"Twenty one? Is this not a number? How do you play a game of the cards with one of your numerical devices?"

"Na Star, it's just a name." Cy slapped her playfully on the back, belly rolling with laughter.

"I see…" she still seemed confused.

"I'll tell you later about it Star." Robin smiled at her, she smiled back. I was almost at the point of leaving.

"Aha!" Everyone jumped from Beastboy proclamation. "I've got a better one! Strip Poker!"

The instant the words left his mouth, a varied reaction spread throughout. Star remained generally unchanged; Cy looked with a devious lift of the eyebrow at him before bursting into laughter. Robin had never looked more uncomfortable in his life, eye mask wide. My legs jerked under the table causing the whole thing to collapse upon itself.

Beast Boy sweat dropped.

"Or we could just play go fish."

Everyone seemed to agree.

"Robin, what is this 'strip poker?'" Robin looked her straight in the face, eyes wandering, before jerking his head in the opposite direction. A red hue covered his face. I must admit I have only seen Robin speechless in few occasions.

And this was one of them.

…………………………………………….

"Cyborg, got any twos?"

"Ha! Go fish man!" Robin grumbled, picking up another card from the deck.

"I hate this game, too easy to cheat." Sloughing back in his chair, he folded his arms in a pouting frown.

"Man, you just hate it because you're loosing." Robin turned his head.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Do not distress Robin, it is only a game."

"Yeah dude, it's supposed to be fun!" Robin grumbled. No one caught it. "What was that Robin?"

"That's what they tell the losers…." Star giggled, wrapping him up in a hug. While no one was looking, I glanced at Beast Boy's hand. I smirked to myself. Robin said no more, but his expression remained the same.

"Your turn Raven." I held up five fingers to Beast Boy. He groaned.

"Aw man! I had three! How did you know?" My teeth gleamed as I collected the cards. I was about to ask him again when Cyborg interrupted me.

He didn't say anything at first; he simply laid down his cards, almost like surrendering his defeat. His voice turned dead serious as he spoke.

"Have you guys ever wondered….if life is just a game?" I tilted my head to the ground, breathing calmly. When no one answered, he continued himself. "I mean, when we die, is that the finish line?"

No one knew what to say.

"Cause the whole point of the game is to reach the finish line, to win, to be victorious…but that would mean we walked straight into our death. To end the game we've been playing for so long." I took a great interest in my shoes, like I had never seen them before.

"And throughout our life, we keep drawing cards of chance, guessing what path fate will steer us to." He sighed again. "We have to have faith in the things we can't control, in the lives that affect us. I mean, think about it! The cheaters in this life take shortcuts behind others backs. But what happens, they reach their death first and foremost. That's the way it's supposed to be, but sometimes it isn't. Sometimes they win without ever crossing the finish line."

I stole a glance at my teammates, they seemed edgier than normal.

"So we zoom through life, aiming for a goal that will lead to our demise. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't. The different games composed; games of chance, of skill, of logic, and every single one has rules; Rules we have no choice to listen to."

"Terra…she….she never had a chance. Luck just wasn't her game." My hands were oddly shaky. So this was what it was all about.

I still have no idea why Cyborg burst out like he did, but I couldn't help but hope that somehow I would find out in the future. What surprised me the most was when Cyborg started crying….for the first time I've ever seen him do so.

I played with my hands, giving a guilty glance in Beast Boy's direction.

I wasn't a cheater in life…..was I?

It's a question I still struggle with.

I could still hear Cyborg's choked cries, which he swiped away a minute later after silence.

"Ug, I'm stronger than this." He stood up and left the room with no indication of where he was going.

It was just the four of us left.

"I…just wanted to play go fish…" BB's voice was almost a whimper. We all looked at Star, who was now in tears. She was the type of person who cried when others did. Bee patted her back encouragingly.

"Were we bad friends? …To let Terra die?" I could barley understand her. I fingered the butterfly burette in my hair, stroking it.

"No Star….some things you can't avoid. Some things are fate."

I shook my head. Our lives were already planned out, set upon the game board. We just didn't have enough insight to see our upcoming moves.

Robin turned to me, starring, as if expecting me to shout out. Expecting me to say something comforting to them all, they waited.

That right there was two impossibilities in one.

Beastboy began shuffling the cards again, probably to have something to do with his hands.

He held the cards out to me, giving me a choice.

"So Raven…" his expression was daunted, a limpness to the cards he was holding. I noticed the words scribbled on the back of the cards - Luck. How ironic. I reached out for the cards as if searching for a purpose. I needed…faith.

"What's the name of the game?"

If only I could answer.


	9. Commitment

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**Commitment  
**MereImage

* * *

Commitment.

It was one of the words I hated, one of the words I had vowed never to bring into my life. In fact, it was one of the few likenesses I drew from Terra in her stay. Neither of us ever got attached. It was just our way of life. The backbone of our lives lay securely against our evasive techniques.

And now she's dead.

I'm still fully functional; a living, breathing soul. Pure luck, that's all.

My palm closed over the five rings in my palm.

The silver from each one shone around the room, casting everything in a hazy glow. The sun was slowly setting just outside my balcony, widow shutters opened for the first time in ages. The dust of my memory settled, waiting to be unsoiled.

My friends had been called out on another mission. Just like every other time, I felt completely useless. Completely useless and alone with nothing better to do. It made me wonder why I was even a Titan anymore…

So I had decided to work on my project. A project I started ten seconds ago.

I held the first ring in my hand, eyes in a side-glance as my refined paintbrush curved in in the first color…

And gradually I carved out something more…something more than any soul penetrating diamond could portray.

I'm not quite sure how long it took me to complete it, but they say eternity has its ways of going undetected.

………………………………………………………………………….

Beastboy sluggishly sauntered his way to the room.

One step in front of the other, he gave a discontented sigh.

"Three missions in a row. I swear if-"he paused, head bent towards the floor as his hair damped over. The strands acted as a curtain, shielding out the emotions he wielded. He could have been mistaken for sleepwalking, his body was so still.

Bending down on his knees, he scooped up the two objects lying on the floor. Secondly, his eyes focused in on the note positioned close by.

_Beast Boy, _

_Right now I can image everyone's reactions when they find this. Star's acting like a pixy, Robin's all business and Cyborg's probably already making a science experiment out of the thing. _

_The only reaction I couldn't place was yours. _

_There's something I have never truly grasped about your personality. You use to be the most insecure person I had ever known, trying to draw attention to yourself at every waking moment. And now…I'm still trying to place you in this mixed up world we live in._

_There's a reason why I gave you two rings B. One is for yourself, the other is for Terra. If anyone deserves to be the caretaker it would be you. I know you will always have a relationship with Terra that I can never dream of having with anyone. And for that, I envy you. Terra was a soul too good for this world…she just couldn't see it. I think you are the only person besides myself to see that. _

_But this is one of the reasons why I made these rings. To be symbols that connect us to each other in a spiritual bond, that remind us that no matter how much we hate ourselves, someone will always be there to love and nurture us. Ever since I was a small child and my destiny was planned for me, I was enchanted by rings of power. How the sleek roundness represents the eternity, a union that lasts forever, a forging that will never break. My people once believed that a vein ran directly from a finger to the heart. A friendship bound in love and trust. A passion our hearts will never forget and will remember for all time. It is true that rings break from time to time, but the emotions carried from them are too strong to destroy. Not even if we try with our entire mind to forget. I of all people know that ignorance is bliss, but understanding is much more rewarding in its own ways. _

_In these times of hardship and sadness, I feel this is a time to lean on each other and stop tricking our minds into believing we can make itall on our own. _

_And yes, I know you are probably wondering why I chose silver as the base of this garnet._

_I simply wished not to weigh down our teams hearts' with gold. Silver is pure…_

_I am making a commitment to my friends because I know in these dark time we are changing. I know in the process of distancing ourselves we are growing closer. I know that someday, I will be able to find my voice even though I stay silent. I know someday we will see the light through our blindfolds. _

_I know we will someday see the world through a different pair of eyes. _

_Your teammate,  
__And friend,  
__Raven_

_P.S.-_

"_If you chose to be undecided, you have made a choice." _

_It's a quote I wish Ihad knowna long time ago… _

_Maybe it will come to use for you as well. _

…

…

…

Beastboy flipped the paper over.

Nothing.

He let forth a sigh, running a hand through his locks. His body had shifted positions on its own accord, leaning casually against the wall.

Pulling the chain from around his neck he slipped the two rings through it before clasping it back behind his head. A necklace had been made.

Even from a distance, the professional calligraphy handwriting etched alone the surface. A green 'Beast boy, Garfield Logan' and gold 'Terra, Tara Markov' couldn't have shone brighter.

_And just in case you forget who you are, _

_Your name will always be there for a reminder. _

His right hand clasped his opposite shoulder.

His mouth was open at the hinges…

"Maybe…maybe some things change after all."

There was no one there to answer him.

A smirk on his face appeared which quickly spread into a grin.

"I've made my choice Raven, why don't you make yours?"

He never knew how good it felt to laugh again. To wholeheartedly laugh.

….

….

…

And at the corner of the hallway, where I couldn't be seen, I silently laughed too.

……………………………………

AN- Do you seriously want to know how hard it was to write the next chapter of this thing? VERY! I went through five ideas, fully typing out three only to ditch them all because of the lack of meaning in the chapters. I swear I wasted 4-5 hours overall. In the end, I wound up with this lovely chapter. (Note the sarcasm)

And, by the way, the quote "if you chose to be undecided, you have made a choice" is not mine. I got it from another source.

Since I typed this at 1:37 AM in the morning too, the least you could do is leave me a review. Please?


	10. Simplicity of a Four Letter Word

AN- I would suggest listening to 'Scars' by Papa Roach or 'fly away' by Lenny Kravitz while reading this chapter (or just any type of music). Personally, music helps intensify the meaning of the stories I read. If I wasn't so set on never doing a song fic, I'd put lyrics of the songs in this one. The lyrics relate to the emotions, add a lot of meaning, and contribute to depth...well in my opinion at least…

* * *

**MUTE**

**Simplicity of a Four Letter Word  
**MereImage

* * *

Fear is relative. It leaves scars we can't cover, inside and out. Sometimes we don't even know they're there. That is true.

It flourishes in our hearts, our minds, our beings. At times, it has a mind of its own, pushing us into situations where our heart dies out and breathing seems more of a trivial thing. Many think love is the most powerful emotion to rule us all, especially our hearts.

But really, when do you hear of someone jumping off a bridge for love…wait. No…that wasn't a good example…or when someone dies of a broken hear- no, no. This isn't helping my case.

Point is, fear is something we will all share at some time or another. Yes, even myself. In fact, I _fear_ fear. I fear for my friends if I should go out of control. When the world was coming to its demise because of my father, I dug deep within myself and pulled out a new fear I never knew could even exist. It was the first time in my life I utterly feared myself. Sure, fairy tells depict scenes in our heads about being our own worst enemy. It's just…everything looks different when it's up close and personal.

It's one of those points in your life where you feel like dieing on the spot, strangling yourself because you realize right then and there that you don't know who you are. Even now I am still lost inside this empty shell of mine, the cocoon I created with my overprotective spirits. I've been transforming slowly ever since, and for a long time now, I've been waiting to break free. To fly away, to crack-

-To change into something….

More…

….Me…..

I fiddled with my thumbs, fingers pressed against my forehead. Brooding silently to myself…single, alone, forgotten, misplaced, unaccompanied... nobody to give me the encouragement I often pretended to discard.

I pulled my head up, leaning back into the firm cushions of the couch. I didn't even let a sigh come forth…not on the outside at least. My mind wandered to the TV in front of me. I rarely watched television; I always said it makes you stupid. You have more brain activity when you're sleeping….but I feel like I didn't want to think about anything anymore either. I think I need to concentrate on something else…

Plus, it would give my something to do with my hands.

As ten minutes passed, I finally realized the art of channel surfing. I never stayed on any station longer than ten seconds.

As I was reading to put the controller down, I caught sight of the magazine just feet from me.

It must be Starfire's….didn't know she even knew how to read.

It fit perfectly in my hands, opening the magazine to the first random page. And sure enough, there before me was a quiz.

'_How outgoing are you?'_

Naturally my eyes rolled, but I couldn't resist from picking up the pencil nearest to me…

……………………………………………………….

I tallied up my score for the third time, frowning only slightly. Nineteen….

I flipped to the score sheet.

I read-

_Score 0-26_

_It seems you have been taking one step forward, two steps back. You're one to be cautious but sometimes too much concern isn't healthy for anyone. Closing the door on opportunities will only result in staying in your comfort room. By creating these emotional blocks, your dreams will never become a reality. _

I stopped to blink, but nothing more.

_But it is equally important not to continue judging situations with careful eyes. Without fear and judgment, there is nothing to hold you back to doing reckless actions. However, one must be careful in interpreting. With fear holding you back, there is also no life to live. It is important to find the happy medium between the two and find the courage to be more daring. _

_Fear can save lives, and it can cause death. It is simply how you wish to look at it. _

_Find how fear can help you gain courage. That however, is something we can't tell you. It's something you must find on your own. _

I brushed a bang from my face. My hair was getting rather…long. I brought both hands open palmed and placed them gently in my lap.

How can fear…be good?

I did a double take.

I must…not let fear control my life.

_Without fear, there is nothing to hold us back, putting our lives at risk. With fear holding us back, we have no life to live. _

I massaged my scalp, titling my head over the corner of the couch. I let my eyelids close.

My hood dipped from my face. In return, my cloak folded in on my form. The sunlight pouring heavily into the room deeply contrasted the dark, dark black settling along every track of color along my cloak.

Everything. Every part was black.

And I never noticed.

And no one else was there to notice it either.

I could have sworn someone brushed dainty fingers across my cheek. I never opened my eyes to find out.

I simply listened to nature's sounds going about around me. Undisturbed. It was the most peaceful I had felt in a long time. No alarms, no teammates, just….my soul free to fill every corner of that room, to occupy the world.

It's just a four letter word.

For some reason, I can't let it go. It's just a four letter word,

That's all.

It wasn't even fear.

Four letters…

_Tara… _

Sometimes I feel like I care too much. I wish I could let go. I wish I could move on with my own life. I wish I could break the shell that had plastered over me. I wish I could break from my cocoon. But I was afraid if I did…

….I would truly be alone.

It's just a four letter word.

Four letters,

That's all.


	11. That of a Hero

AN-In last chapter the four letter word could have been about fear or Tara (Tara Markov). It was up to you to decide. Both are things she can't seem to let go and they're holding her back. Also, I really don't have anything against songfics, it's just 1. I guess you're not suppose to post lyrics unless they're your own, or 2. I can never seem to fit lyrics in at good spots. I usually end up chopping the chapter up… I'm pathetic, don't I know it.

Also, this chapter may seem a little…ummmm…..strange. It was that way for me too while I wrote it. I know, I do foreshadowing _really_ weird.

**

* * *

**

MUTE

**That of a Hero  
****MereImage

* * *

**

My name is Raven.

Not Rebecca, not Renee, and definitely not Rose. Just accept the fact.

My name is Raven, and it will never change.

It's something no one can ever seem to grasp. People expect me to do what normal heroes do. I've never worn a mask in my life, and my alias is the same as my birth name. If I didn't know better myself, I would associate myself with the very people who walk this street every Saturday.

Well, almost.

These days a hero is made out to be some 'extraordinary', someone who is always there to save the day, someone who is perfect in every way. But as many say, perfection is a flaw in itself. Perfection is yet just another disappointment we will all experience in this lifetime.

Truly, there is a hero in every soul that walks this sidewalk. I was simply packaged with a different wrapping, same as my friends. A label given to us, one hard pressed to destroy. We were born with different powers, different gifts. By definition, a hero is simply a person who has endowed with great courage and strength, celebrated for his bold exploits, noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose. Everyone has that difference stored inside. Maybe that's why everyone loves a 'superhero'. It's so much easier to applaud, to daydream about someone else.

If everyone loves a hero…

Why don't they give themselves any credit?

Saving the day is overrated.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

The noise, the crowds, the continuous bustling that never gives you any piece of mind.

I hate it.

Which doesn't exactly explain why I'm standing in the middle of the most populated area downtown. Nor does it give justice to the fact that I'm dressed casually in a dark cotton sweater, hood flung up over my head, jeans bagging around my ankles.

And everyone…walks by. It's a nice feeling, invisible in a sense. At some point or another we all wish we could disappear. Avoid the lives we lead. Swiftly move undetected and get carried away with the breeze.

My back leaned against the wall, knee bent, allowing my foot to touch the structure as well. The weather was a dismal gray, small showers pouring down at unexpected times. The clouds hung over the city, at a standstill as all wind seemed to die. For a moment, it seemed as if time had stopped. But almost instantly afterward, raindrops dipped silently across my forehead. My hidden face rose but half an inch, body emotionless, neither a smile nor frown taking claim on my face.

It turned from a drizzle…to a downright pour.

I threw my head back, allowing my hood to slowly dip from concealment.

I let my eyelids settle, concealing the world for the moment. An emotion I had never felt before bubbled in the lower pit of my stomach, churning, writhing about in a contemptuous way… and all the same, it felt relaxing. It's like trying to explain of colors to a colorblind. I can't elucidate these alien feelings; it's something you have to feel for yourself. And someday, I guarantee, everyone will come across it at some point or another.

I rain brushed across my cheek, like invisible tears wiping away the pain, cleansing.

I lowered my head to eye level, starring out from my deserted alleyway to take notice of the outside world. People had begun to clear, heading for nearby shops in search of warmth from the sudden change of weather. Occasionally, a person would scurry past, umbrella bobbing, as they attempted to flag down a cab.

I watched for several minutes until finally the streets had cleared completely, the only sound was the soft patter of water falling gently on the pavement.

Until…

Someone finally came to notice me.

A girl, teenage, stared back at me. A soft blue shirt clung to her body, a simple pair of jeans on her figure. Her hands were placed in her pockets, the rain sliding down her silver white hair.

I did a double take.

Straight white hair pearled along her shoulders accentuating the cerulean color of her shirt. There was almost a soft glow about her, head tilted as she stared at me intently.

"You're a Titan, aren't you?"

Her voice was so calm… It made me wonder whether to shake my head or not. I nodded once.

She eyed me again before speaking.

"Raven. You're the one who battled Deathstoke…" Her eyes squinted placidly, receding, hugging her arms loosely to her chest. I was at a standstill, no movement, no voice.

"…."

She almost seemed…lost. But I couldn't tell for certain. Her head bowed, a delicate hand pausing to brush back a strand of silver hair. For a flicker, I could have sworn I saw myself in her.

I only had to blink for her to disappear; gone.

I rubbed the back of my head, pondering. It was revoking something I couldn't reach.

I fingered my cape only to realize it had turned back to white.

At the end of the alley, raindrops fell from the tips of my hair as I reached down to pick up a Rose, the aurora of despair clinging to its petals.

A Rose.

I blinked by eyes eccentrically, confused.

I fingered it gently, holding onto it with both hands, careful not to crush the thorns. Yet I never glanced down to look at it. My eyes were still trained on the area where the girl had vanished.

And I was a little uncertain of what really makes someone a hero. The boundary in-between.

I never found out, because at that moment, I could have sworn I had forgotten who I was.

And the rain fell even harder.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

AN- (cough)-RoseWilson-(cough)


	12. With Every End

Two chapters left, First part of a two part ending. Explanations will come with last chapter.

**MUTE  
With Every End  
**MereImage

* * *

_This is the beginning of an end. With every end, with every beginning, there most come understanding. _

…

…

…

…

…

…

_Sometimes I wish… I could become the wind. Invisible, molding the known, strong, affecting the life around us with a simple kiss of compassion and understanding. _

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

_Sometimes I wish it would just……………end. When the breeze turns to nothing but air. Still, forgotten. When it becomes so silent our own thoughts mask out the pain. _

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

……

I could hear the screams. My footsteps would not drown out the noise.

My head was filled with them, doused into the drowning pits where no sane mind can ever survive. I could have sworn I was going insane, that the pleas were from inside my psyche. Only Continuing on in desperate attempts of appeal, suffocating the better half I had been trying so hard to preserve. I hated it more than anything in this world that could attribute to this life we live.

But no, the screams were everywhere around me, plaguing me. I watched citizens flee, cower behind barriers, shove everyone aside in desperate attempts to get out of the area as fast as they could.

As nameless faces jostled past, I avoided them, winding my body through the never ending traffic of a panic. I was almost tempted to stand my ground, to turn and run with everyone else where I belonged.

But then again, where did I belong?

I continued at a sprint.

I was the only soul pushing in the opposite direction…towards the heart of the city. Just where the heart was slowly being ripped into two and where the rest of my friends were currently-

BoooooooooOOOOOOOOOM!

Everyone toppled over, a foot wide crack breaking through the backbone of the town, ripping through the street. It tore beneath me, widening like the mouth of a fiend opening to eat its prey, causing my legs to give out. For a second I simply drifted in mid air, holding onto nothing, thinking nothing, until my arm clasped the edge, clutching onto the side as my body slipped into the dark depths. I dangled from my spot inside the miniature canyon. Sweat trickled down my neck as I hoisted myself from the gully, collapsing on my knees. Fires poured farther on, flames consumed part of the west side of the city. The ground shook, the people fell, the screams intensified.

It felt like the end of the world was happening again….the apocalypse of a second coming.

They told me to keep out of it; they told me to leave it to them. I caught their hints, their persistence of me to the safekeeping of our home. They treated me like a newborn, fresh to the horrors of this world, shielded from the fate I was meant to conquer.

They forget that I'm still a hero, as much inside as out. They forget that a hero lives in all of us, even when the best of us comes to die.

I was running again. Before I even realized it, the multitude was thinning out the closer I drew to the eye of the storm. I was heaving now, panting from my exertion of activity. Then I saw it.

A flash of green-

-A spurge of blue radioactivity-

-Voluptuous birdarangs tearing through the fabric of time-

-Starbolts kissing the thinly strung air-

-all convulsing upon one target, blinding the city for but a second before it faded…and smoke began to lazily drift. They had circled around an open square, cornering whatever lay in its mists. The color seemed to wash from the scene, leaving a dull gray to cover the thin traces of air. Tall buildings stretched up to touch the sky, almost acting like a defensive barrier for the troops. For the first time that day it grew an eerie quiet, no sounds, no movement. I blinked from my standpoint, one of the openings leading onto the open arena, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like I wasn't the only mute, I wasn't the only one who had grown pregnable to the very life we live.

Then time seemed to slow… as if it had almost stopped. I had simply held my hand out, desperate for this day to pause if but for a moment. My gaze fell on one first. Arm propped out like a gun, one of the weapons we had vowed never to use. A weapon inside us all.

Cyborg is fading. I can see it from the way he stands, the way his eyes locked heavily upon the scene without so much as a word or witty phrase. Just like the plastered brick walls eroding because of fowl time wearing on its limits. Cyborg is one of the men I will never truly come to understand completely. It confuses me, the thoughts he's had to endure, the torments of his dreams. I know he use to be in love, he use to have a family. In a sad way, Cyborg fell in love with death. I can never be certain, but I can tell when his head hangs that the hurt is still there. The girl he loved is dead, his mother: dead. And his father might as well be. Cyborg is fading just like his long forgotten past. In the process, he had grown stronger. We all do in darkened times, because if we don't, our very spirits will never survive. His appearance betrays him more than the others, because I know he is poisoned more inside than he's willing to show. And for that, he has grown. He has grown as a hero, he has grown as a brother, he has grown on the inside and out, and he has grown on us all.

Cyborg is my hero.

My neck turned.

To the right, floating but a head from Cyborg stood my…………friend. My best friend.

Starfire was no longer comprised of the excess innocence she once possessed. Her features have hardened with the times, just as we all had. Yet she still boldly sacrifices herself for others and acts as if this world has not a sin in it. She works to preserve the good in this world, not destroy the evil, and I truly believe those beliefs will follow her even past death. I was surprised when she explained to me of her past, of all the bereavement she's witnessed. Her planet has gone to war on more than one occasion. Her own people, her _family_ has died in her arms. But somehow…by some miraculous proclamation, it never changed her. And still it made her who she was today. We go through trials and it's in those times that we come closer to each other, to ourselves. We find out who we truly are, who we were meant to be. When death comes among us, it's in those times we must gather and test the strength of our bonds. If it snaps, our world will fall to pieces. This is what I've gathered from Starfire, and no words are needed for such a thing. Starfire has seen more death than us all.

But she chooses not to live a life of regret. She chooses not to stray down the wrong path.

For that,

Starfire is my hero.

In the nearby distance, a green falcon touches down in between the Tamaranian and Cyborg. It flutters to a stop, perched on a crippled ledge. His eyes upturn towards the glowing part of the city, stopping for the time being only to intake all of his surroundings… he was the only one moving.

…just like us all, simply watching…

Wishing we could do so much more.

Beast boy has turned into the man I thought he could never become. Through all his absurdity and sarcasm, I never caught on to the deep meanings he was trying to share this whole while, the care he possessed, the childlike virtuousness that had captured the team as a whole. He has always been more than the eye is willing to show, hiding behind his insecurities. Beast Boy has matured. He has found love at an early age and watched it die right before his eyes. Terra meant more to him than anything and he means more to me than the face of this cursed earth. I don't think I will ever be able to love… and this saddens me. Over everyone, even Robin, I feel Beast Boy can truly understand my situation. Something in my stomach stirs whenever I look at him, whenever our eyes meet. He is the lost soul, searching for something that has already gone. It's something that was never meant to be, but has happened all the same. Beast Boy has been gifted with the capability of changing people. He changed Terra, he………..changed…………………….me.

Beast Boy is my hero.

At the end of my alley, across the way, stood Robin. His posture was so composed, he could have been mistaken as a statue, preserved for all to see and admire. Robin has never wished to be an icon in itself, I know this, and believe he always has been. What can I say; it's easy to admire him.

Robin is a man of many faces. He is a man who puts everyone before himself. Self sacrificing is one way to state it, but personally, I believe it's much more. Ever since I met Robin, I knew there was something deeper about him. Of all his decisions, it has been for the good of the city or the team. Even during the brief Red-x scheme, although I was angry at the time, I believe he did it out of fear for us. A fear that if something were to happen to us, the guilt and blame would be placed on his shoulders. Robin was afraid for us. Robin was afraid of loosing his friends. Under the layers of clothing, I know a boy still thrives on life. He's the only human on our team, and yet he manages to outshine everyone. I think this is one of the major reasons why everyone looks up to him. He's only human, and still he manages to be so much more. And like every human, he has come to show a side of him that lies under the enigma of his traits. With Robin, I had always assumed any relation with him would be one sided but it has been anything but that. He has walked the tightrope his whole life, the two sides of a mask, the life of normality on one side, the life of a hero on the other. Either side he chose, he fell. But luckily… there was always someone there to catch him, someone out of this world. Robin is molding to become the man he was born to be.

We have all gone through our own trials. We have lived lives where at some point or another we wished we were dead. This is what brought us together, and it is thus that shall keep it that way.

It was then time caught up to me quicker than a nosebleed.

"-AVEN!"

The breath roaming my lungs left me. I crashed onto the opposite side of the street as something tugged at the corner of my shoulder.

It would have been a lie to say I landed smoothly.

Starfire, panting, had her arms wrapped around my shoulders, hair smoking like it had been lit not a moment before. Her palms tightened in mix of surprise, sock and fear.

I remembered to breathe.

"Raven!" Star's head shot back almost too quickly to catch towards the scene behind the pair of us. We were shielded from harms way for the time, "What are you doing here friend? There are copious dangers that lie ahead of us! I barely had time to relocate you out of harms way!"

Her eyes were pleading, mine were the opposite.

I shook my head, pointing out towards the scene. Star bit her lip, head side lagging.

"….I understand your determination to help, Raven, I am a warrior myself but-"

She turned to face me.

She starred…

…I stared back.

The corner of her lip twitched upward with a curve, eyes shinning.

"…………we shall deliver the 'whoop to the behind of the donkey' yes?" she paused, hesitating, "…….together?"

I returned a genuine smile.

_Yeah… _

I did a double take, pointing out onto the scene once more. Star's head followed, squinting. She turned back to me.

"You are wondering where the others are positioned?"

I shook my head.

"……….who we are combating?"

I nodded.

Starfire rubbed her arm, twirling her boot into the ground as if musing how to answer. How hard was it to answer something so simple?

"It is **_him_.**"

And suddenly I understood.

I did a double take, stumbling a step or two backwards. A cold chill seemed to sweep the air, to mock me for being so blind.

So………………… silent.

A pair of wings helped lift me from my feet, a pair of Raven wings, a pair of doves.

We looked at each other, truly, for the first time then and there. I could see my future drifting behind those pupils, intertwined between two words keeping the balance and unity we had somehow forgotten. It feels like looking at your past, watching you do things you wish you could change, holding back and staring. Somehow, we're stuck in-between and at the same time, stranded outside our boundaries.

Starfire took me by the hand with a smile.

"If it is fear you are afraid to face Raven, we shall stand beside you. We shall always stand beside you no matter what the circumstances."

At first, I did nothing. I took notice of the gentle breeze, the empty beer bottles, and the grime licking the corner of the alleyway. The sky stretched outward, broadening, breathing new life into something so simple. A glimmer danced across the valley of pavement never faltering in its movements.

I could feel…the power. Everywhere, inside _me_.

I did not conjure the black portal behind me that appeared not moments later, nor did I have a choice in the matter. I fell back into the swirling pit, swallowed and taken.

My father had captured me, only this time, I was defenseless. I fell back on my own accord, but it was not from my heart. My father had wrapped strings around my body and I was now his puppet, powerless or not.

I was not sure if Starfire screamed or not, because next thing I knew, I was surrounded by darkness. A darkness that ate at my core, that wore on the thin lining of my heart. I couldn't breathe; red fogged my vision, my world felt like it was being squeezed through a straw lined with holes.

I felt detached from the world, stuck in hell.

"_**RAVENNNNNNNN……………"** _whispered the shadows.

I frowned.

"_**Is that any way to greet your father?"**_

"………"

The air thinned, my anger tightened with my fists.

_You are no DAD of mine… _

The air constricted my lungs, flattening my chest, my cloak swinging around to act as a protective barrier. I had fallen, fallen to my knees, my hair dangling like wisps of memories. There were far too many to count, to remember. Darkness was all that remained; it was all that could survive in such a brutal environment, trapped between realities.

Which makes me believe my dark side truly isn't quiet as gone as we all thought. As _I_ thought…

Stomping, red eyes barring, **taunting**…

He could read my very thoughts, he could watch over my emotions, but he could not control me… He can not control me… I refuse to believe it.

"**_Heh hehe heh, thought you could escape the unavoidable did youuuuu? Thought you could escape from yourself? Do not question dear girl, you presumeddd I was no more than deaddddd…."_**

I frowned.

"**_BUT HOW can you send the devil down to hell? How can you rid of the sickness when the body is still under the influence,_** "a crackling rushed through the air, " **_How can you purge of the angerrr when the source is still alive and flourishing?" _**

_I am _nothing_ like you_!

"**_IS that sooooo! I part of you child, I am vital to your survival! I MAKE up half of your signature…" _**

_My mother-_

"**_DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HER! You think she can make the balance! You can not destroy me without ridding yourself from your very soul…It is not doneeeeeeee…" _**

_Death shall bring my end, **Father.** _I ranted.

"**_DEATH! I am death. I shall greetttttt you with open arms and crush youuuuuuuuu…" _**I could almost feel his breath on my shoulder, hovering, but when I turned there was nothing.

_Without my body, you will have no connection through this world… I am your portal thorough blood. _

"_**Sin brings me to this world girl, evil opens me to the minds of the weak." **He chuckled, **"your friends are such easy targets…humans are so easily manipulated and turned against each other. I onlyyyyyyy have to snap my fingers and their very lives will crumble. Just like I did to yours…"** _

My face paled, the color all but gone.

"**_Why haven't you spokennnnnnnn a word since my 'death' Raven? Was it because you watched your teammate die before your eyes, in your arms?"_** I shivered**_," Or was it because you believed it was your fault, that you could have saved her, that YOU killllllllllllllllled herrrr!" _**

I was beginning to sweat, backing up into a corner with no door for escape.

_Terra died for us you scum. _

"**_She dieddddd because you could nottt hold me back. You……..KNOW……THIS! Don't you!"_**

………

"**_You are responsible. Sheeeeeeeeeee should be alive, notttttttttt a demonnnnnnnnn girlllll. She died because of the sideee you could not control!" _**I could almost feel his smile against the backdropwaiting for insanity to come**_ "Your voiceeeee is everythingggggg you are, and you did nottt feel worthyyyy. Youuuu cryyy every night because of it, every nightttt! You losttt part of yourselfffffff with herrr." _**

Sweat was rolling freely down my face, a pained look to my expression.

I will not give in…

And in a slow process I began to rise from my knees, from my squatted position, looking towards the heavens I could not reach.

_Terra is still alive…fool. _

My head was bowed.

_Terra lives inside of all of us. _

"**How poeticccccccccccc. Heh heh hehe… but sadly childdddd, we do not live in fairy talesss." **

I was on my feet, my cloak glowing…fading…glowing…**intensifying. **

_I will not take this…. Any……………**MORE!** _

I yelled.

I screamed.

I thrashed about.

I threw my hands out and open, inviting, pushing away from reality itself. My being flickered as I became dangerously close to disappearing.

My cloak turned not pink, not green, not blue, not black, not white, not silver, not gray, and _not _**RED.**

It was gold. Pure in it's own element, powerful.

MY eyes flashed a bright yellow, a shadowed outline appearing just behind me, guiding, whispering in my ear.

'_I am here with you Raven. ' _

It was soft, angelic, understanding.

'_I am with you, friend.' _

The shadow mimicked my movements, giving support when my back was turned, when I was susceptible.

I gritted my teeth, a pounding in my ears and-

_**PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!**_

Gold and black tendrils mixed together, becoming one, striking the world of hate. I could hear my father shrieking.

"**_Whatttttttttt! No, RAVEN STOPPPPPPPPP! This isn't possibleeeeeeeee!" _**

The power increased, causing me to slide back several feet, eyes clenched shut in forced control. The winds began to gather, twirling around me, whipping my hair, my cloak.

I was the center.

The sound was overwhelming, the power flooding from me, gathered from all the weeks of dormant waiting.

_**POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!**_

It pulled on me, sucking all energy, threatening to ripe my body and soul in turn. It was enlightening and dangerous at the same time…

I was falling.

I was falling into the floor.

I was failing in mid air.

I could hear my father's screeches in the background…

And I was not afraid.

MY eyes shot open, turning to face the shadow.

I was facing a silhouette… with long blonde hair, a black tunic…

A Titan.

She held out a hand. My lip quivered, falling ever still, slowly reaching out. Our hands stretched inches apart, and yet we could not come any closer, we could not come in contact.

Terra smiled, faded.

And just like she had taken my voice, she gave me hers.

I open my mouth, tears threatening to fall.

"Terra……"

She disappeared when I hit the earth.

I hit solid ground, pavement.

I could hear the footsteps…

"…."

I slowly rubbed my throat, feeling oddly weary.

"….."

The silence, the hard rocks beneath me, felt _welcome._

"…………………..Raven? RAVEN!"

Beastboy rushed to my side, grabbling my shoulders.

"Raven, stay awake, Robin's coming. Hold on!"

_Why was he shouting? _

I turned to look at him, lying motionless. Our eyes met.

His eyes widened, a knowing look settled between us, eyes widen with disbelief. He leaned closer on instinct, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

I felt so…………tired.

My body began to slump, to loosen, to dispatch from the strings of this ever controlling world.

His voice stammered, a lump settling in his throat. The tone lowered considerably as if he didn't want the outside world listening in on our secret. Uncertain…

"………………………………….T-Terra?"

I smiled.

And my eyes…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Slowly……

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…………………….closed.

The breath escaped me.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"……………….."

In the distance, hugging her arms to her chest, a white haired girl watched with timid eyes.

She dared not step any closer from the building top, watching the scene below her as if in scrutiny of a past event.

Rose stayed silent for a minute, swaying to herself.

Then, without warning, her head darted back, startled, perturbed by some invisible force behind her. There was nothing. Starring with a pause, her head slowly revolved back to its original position. The frown increased, drooping eyelids taking rein. She shivered.

She couldn't see it, but she knew it was there.

The shadow of death had passed.

….

….

….

….

_Help me Terra…._

_I……………I-I…………….  
__  
I think I'm going to die………_

…_.I think I'm going to die… _


	13. Must Come a New Beginnning

AN- the quote "I know why the caged bird sings" is not my own, nor have I ever read the story the title belongs to, so I have no idea what the original meaning to it actually is. Well, this is my 'short' take on it anyway…

**Mute  
Must Come a New Beginning  
MereImage**

_I know why the caged bird sings… _

…

…

…

…

…

…_Such silence is more deafening than the loudest song. _

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

_Even when the song must die, _

_I can hear its sweet melody. _

_just as every bird must learn to fly, _

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

_He turned his gaze from me to glance outside the window. I couldn't hear his sigh, but I knew he made one. Many things happen that can not be heard. _

"_..." _

"……………"

_I looked up from the pages of my book to look at the green elf situated in the corner. His body was hunched, as if his spirits could not pull him high enough, but I knew better than that. I looked at his mouth and found him in a simple smile. After a while, he turned his gaze to me. There was something in my stomach at that point that bubbled to the surface, almost as if a pot had been boiled for too long, but I shoved it back down as quickly as it had come. I calmed my breathing, sat up straighter._

"_Nice day outside." He gave a happy sigh, something shimmering in his eyes I hadn't seen before, "Hehehe, Terra said she'd come back with pizza after they finished with Overload downtown. _

"_Great, now she's getting takeout. What can't she do?" Beast boy cleared his throat in the distance, almost as if he was irritated, "What?" why was he looking at me so strangely? _

"_Do you hate Terra, Raven?" My eyes narrowed. Something in his voice told me he wasn't joking anymore, that this was serious. I did what I needed to, I supplied a feedback whether he believed it or not._

"_Of course not." I flipped a page from my seated position on the couch. He didn't take that as a good enough answer though, "You misunderstand me Beast Boy, stop acting so immature." _

"_I'm immature? What about you!" ok…this really wasn't heading in the direction I wanted it to._

"_Let's just drop this. I wasn't trying to offend her." _

"_No! I'm not backing down this time!" it was the first time in all my experiences with this team that I had seen Beast boy look frightening. From the way his teeth bared, to the claws that extended from his fingertips, I could tell everything that had been building up was at the point of overflowing, "Why don't you trust her? What more does she have to do to prove herself to you?" Beast boy wasn't looking at me now, "I was talking to her last night about lots of stuff. I asked her what it was like before all this, before ever meeting us, before-"_

"_-she didn't have control." _

"_Exactly! She DIDN"T have control! But now she does. Maybe you might not believe in second chances Raven, but all she needed was a little support in her life. She's changed." _

_I stood up. _

"_This is not the time to get defensive Beast Boy. I don't hate her." I held up a finger when he tried to interrupt, "Trust me as a teammate and a friend Beast Boy, I'm trying my best to welcome her with open arms, but things like this take time."_

"_What are you saying Raven?" _

"_I know the rest of the team has already accepted her back, I **know** you've forgiven her, but she broke something inside me when she betrayed us, something that can only be mended with time." I sloughed just a bit. _

"_So don't try and pin this on me when I have every right to keep my distance. That was the mistake we made the first time. We accepted her too fast, her structure couldn't hold on to everything when it was coming in so fast. She had a responsibility, and it was too much for her. It may not seem like it Beast Boy, but I'm doing this as much for me and this city as for her."_

_Before I knew it, a hand was on my shoulder. It felt softer than before, and I could tell he had been taken by my words. _

"_She broke me too Raven; don't think you're the only one hurt. Robin's always saying the 'bigger you are, the harder you fall'." He let a small chuckle slide through, "Yeah, true, But this is _so _much bigger than that! My love for her was stronger than everyone," his smile was beginning to fade. "So strong, that it felt like my soul was being torn apart when she told me she had joined Slade. She destroyed herself, and in the process, it destroyed me too."_

_I exhaled deeply. _

"_But it was worth it. The pain, the suffering, _everything_. Because I was able to go the distance with her." _

"_I don't………………think you understand what I'm saying Beast Boy."_

_He nodded. _

"_I don't think you do either." _

_It took a long time for him to understand what I truly meant. _

_It took me even longer to understand his. _

_But through it all, a small canary sang outside the window, its song shielded from the ruthless world it had been given birth into._

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

There was something….warm in my palm. I clutched tighter onto it, not wanting the warmth to flee when I felt so cold…

I opened my eyes.

The room hadn't changed much from the last time I had been there. Only, this time, I wasn't on the sidelines anymore.

I was in the medical room, monitors and blinkers chiming off around me as the world moved at its own pace. I tried to rack my brain for memories as to why I was here and it took a couple minutes of silence to truly comprehend.

Then, I _felt_ it. The presence waiting to be known.

It was the white haired girl.

"Hello Raven." She held out a hand and I couldn't help but flinch away. It didn't seem threatening in the least, but her presence was beginning to wear away on my conscience. I couldn't help but asking her the question I had been forever wondering.

She gave a sad smile, almost shirking under her baggy clothes.

"I understand. The troubles you must go through with your father everyday. Everyone knows evil in the many forms it possesses. I too was born from a father such as yourself, but it has changed me overtime and showed me how we are our own persons not to be tied down with something we can not control." She paused for a bit before adding, "I know it was your father who killed Terra."

Something caught in the pit of my throat.

"But don't misunderstand me. Terra was killed by but evil itself, the side she could not control. Terra had been loosing at life, and therefore could not see the death that your father thrived upon."

"…….." I refused to meet her eyes.

"I know you believe you will be destined only to bring misery to this world. Your fate may be set in stone, but your destiny is the chisel which can break away the pieces."

She was already walking away.

"The future is your choice; it's time to get back on the playing board." She paused, back turned. "………-"

She never got to finish her sentence, with a small wink, she was gone.

Words are overrated.

Yet, as the thoughts crossed my mind, something stirred beside me.

I jumped in my seat, caught by surprise when a green elf rested at my bedside, hand clasped in mine, drool oozing from the corner of his mouth. I blinked, stunned, and then slowly began to stroke the hair softly on his head.

My fingers filtered through each time, and each time, it felt better than the first. And as the time past, I couldn't help but notice everything I had failed to notice before.

The smoke from the candle made me cough; my back snapped painfully ever time I tried to move and the bird outside my window wouldn't shut up.

But then again…

The light from the candle lit my hope, the pain gave a reminder that I would be able to move again and the bird outside my window gave proof this world was still capable of song.

I squeezed the green hand, and it squeezed back.

As lame as it may seem, Beast boy's eyes were a sight for sore eyes.

"Raven." It was only one word, but it dug so much deeper than any thousand.

"Beast Boy." It had been the first time in months he had heard my voice, but he didn't seem shocked when I said it. Instead there was more of an _It's-about-time_ type of smirk. And I loved every inch of it.

"How ya feeling Rae?"

"I've seen better."

"You can say that again." he shifted in his chair, as if uncomfortable, "Look, Raven, about everything-"

"I have powers again Beast Boy."

"………………" I hated it when he stared off into space.

"The fight with my father, Terra gave me her powers." I stuttered, which was very unlike me, "She became part of me, her spirit, I could feel it. A trade for a trade."

He nodded in understanding.

"Do you think…she's happy Raven?"

"Truthfully Beast Boy, I don't think she was meant for this Earth. She was meant to do something much more."

"I don't understand why it had to be her though, why couldn't it have been me? Why couldn't she have stayed with us?"

Self-consciously, we clung tighter to each other.

"I don't know. I don't think we're meant to know such things. Terra…she helped me find myself."

Beast boy eyed every corner of my face, a relaxed expression to his whole body. He climbed closer to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from the behind.

"I'm glad you found your voice Rae." I nodded, "We would have waited forever if we had to."

"It just took me a while to find it."

We gazed out together, at the bay, towards the city, and at everything I had ever come to know.

I know my father is not gone, I know he lives inside me. Even without my original powers, he lies beneath, hidden beneath the stones that hold the strongest ties of my life together. He is as much part of my, as anything else. But the difference is I know how to control it.

It goes the same with Terra. She's part of us all. I consider her my sister, even due to all past histories, to no such blood relations.

But isn't that what a family is? A group of people that love each other?

I understand now what Beast Boy had been trying to tell me that long time ago.

It was all worth it, in the end, for now I have more than one voice guiding me.

I fingered the butterfly burette in my hair, wondering, remembering as I touched the token to the life of a girl who had already grown new wings and flown away. An angel that lent me her wings last night. She caught my words between a breathless kiss. She gave me a voice when I was silent, she gave me movement while I was still, and she gave me hope when despair thrived on. My angel could not be seen. In no terms have I been rendered from my turmoil, from my silence, for silence can be an endowment when placed in the correct state. The same goes for any emotion, any feeling.

And through our tears when I saw my friends, and with the coming months to pass, my silence became no more…

_Only my goodbyes were left unvoiced. _

….Because now,

I know why the caged bird sings.

_**Finish. **_

…

…

…

…

…


End file.
